30-something seduced by nubile blonde, suffers mental block.
Catherine. Catherine, Katherine, Catherine, Katherine… Catherine. Oh my. What a devious, lascivious, high-maintenance, judgemental, dishonest… tease. And how I love you. Now we all know that when it comes to modern interactive culture, Japan doesn’t play by our rules. It has a whole other set, probably made up by a Mr Asigoalong. The freedom this gives their industry is obviously liberating, for it seems there is no genre they will not cross with another, and no artistic goal they are afraid to reach for. So it confuses me that every time a batsh*t-mental import comes my way I’m surprised. If you’ve ever heard or used the phrase ‘genre defying’ you never knew what it meant until you met Catherine, for it doesn’t so much defy genre as it nukes it. All of them. In the face.
Catherine is… hmm that’s a good question, ok here goes: Catherine is a titillating social/romantic semi-simulator, peddling garbled, half-baked morality whilst judging your every decision and answer with a red-blue good/evil meter that ultimately determines your fate. On the other hairy-palmed hand it is a climbing puzzle fit to cause aneurysm-inducing neurosis that takes the shape of perfectly pitched and horrific anxiety dreams. Firstly let me make this very clear – everything I just said = brilliant.
So you take the role of accidental douche-bag Vincent, as he tries to navigate a failing relationship whilst managing a completely out of control affair that he barely remembers. Katherine, his long term girlfriend, is a career girl in hurry-up-and-marry-me mode, and Catherine, his clingy paramour, is a succubus of the most provocative type. You must decide how to handle the both of them throughout the story and how you do that will determine the outcome. Meanwhile, you (Vincent) must contend with recurring nightmares that starkly resemble a video-game that you can play in the bar every night. That’s some self-referential meta-game sh*t right there.
The uniqueness of this game cannot be overstated, you have never imagined a game like this, let alone played one. And its presentation is something very special indeed, its visual style is very much as per anime, and it has some wonderful cinematic moments. In fact visually is where Catherine hits the spot almost every time, dialogue on the other hand is a different story. Its always difficult to judge a foreign translation, but the markers of East-Asian story-telling are all over this script. The clunky moral/philosophical messages in the style of Wong Kar Wai or Hideo Kojima, the over-played, over-drawn moments of tension during a conversation, and the hopeless lack of a concealed subtext. It’s all there, but it’s forgivable, because – as with the best games (and anime) – it’s what happens that matters, not who-said-what, it’s what you saw.
And see you will. The nightmares make up the bulk of the 13-15 hour game and they are essentially a progressively more difficult set of climbing puzzles, in which you move around the blocks that make the ‘stairs’ so that you can progress to the top. Final stages are accompanied by extra hazards of spectacular horror, a giant wizened bride, a psychotic baby (or two), a terrifying arse with a mouth. I’m not even joking. They essentially chase you up the stairs making for some seriously frantic spatial problem solving.
Under the genuinely nightmarish atmosphere though, lies a deceivingly complex puzzler that requires you to continually develop new strategies or ‘techniques’ to ascend. In between levels you have the opportunity to talk to other climbers (who are all, of course, sheep) to trade ‘techniques’. These are very valuable and will help you a lot in the later stages. You can also gain special items that will give you a helping hand on a tough level, but to a borderline neurotic like me, it always seems like cheating… Until you perfectly time a double-jump potion and finish that level you’ve restarted 30 times. The game takes time to get to know but the more adept you become the more satisfying it is, and the learning curve is sometimes harsh but always fair. I found that if I seriously got stuck, it was always my fault and I would reach the top with a face-palm.
It’s impossible not to recommend such a Frankenstein’s Monster of a game. It’s not for everyone, as I found out when I played some of the 2 player mode, but it has too many totally original experiences to be ignored. Incidentally, with two reasonably adept players, multiplayer can be a seriously fun and laugh-out-loud experience. It has a simple enough premise, race to the top, but the basic game mechanics naturally provoke myriad devious strategies to win. It’s not online, but I think that decision was made in the knowledge that offing your opponent is (fun x 1020) when they’re sat next to you.
Multiplayer isn’t the only thing to lengthen the playtime, there’s lots of collectibles in the levels, and each level is scored and graded, so completionists can spend conceivably unlimited time on the game trying to nail every jump, push and fall to get those gold trophies. It took me roughly 15 hours to complete the main story and I had it on easy setting (do start on easy with this game, it’s still not easy), with the extra difficulty levels and depth of gameplay, this easily pays for itself.
At Frugal Gaming we promote value for money, but games not only need an investment of money, but also an investment of time, an increasingly precious commodity. This game rates as my first great gaming experience of 2012, something I’ll never forget. I didn’t pay for my copy, but I would’ve, and I regret no time spent with it. I meet and hear from a lot of jaded gamers, tired of the same genres year after year, all they want is something new. Well, if you’re one of those people, this is your something new. It’s neither perfect nor familiar, but it is worth your time.Some people don’t like to solve puzzles under pressure, I get that, but those people are missing out. It’s wizard-drowning insane and you should try it out.
TRE (Thomas Edwards)
9/10